Become the person you want others to be. Be an example of the kind of conduct you wish to see in the world. Be kind in your thoughts and in your responses. Do not expect love, excellence or generosity if you do not radiate such things.
People spend life time waiting on another person to change first, to understand first, and to act first.
Notice the urge you most likely have to say “I will respond in much nicer way if he will just stops talking with his mouth full” or “I will not act up if she just stops popping that gum every 30 seconds”
Notice that strong feeling of wanting another person to initiate the change. Well, they feel the same way. If you ever discuss this matter with that another person you most likely will hear them saying exactly the same thing “if she would just say it nicely and in polite way, I would have no problem paying more attention to it” or “I would do whatever I can to make sure I finish my food before responding to a conversation”. Or “Sure, I will take my gum out of if she would ask instead of yelling at my calling me names”.
That’s our ego. It runs our lives. It keeps us away from acting up on changes we want to see in ourselves, others and our lives.
Notice how strong it is. Even with the awareness and full understanding of how much better and happier your life can be if this change accrues it is still hard to take the first step.
That’s how strong our ego is. Acknowledge its presence, but do not let it run your life. Take control and make the first move. Even if it feels hard. Even if it is scary. You will be so pleased with the results. Give it a shot.
Imagine that another person’s ego is just as strong. In reality it is not a conflict between two people. It is a conflict between two egos.
Another person does not react negatively on you asking them to stop making a curtain noise. He or she react on how you ask them to stop it. To be exact – they react on how you tell them to stop making a noise. Because most of the time it comes out as a blame, attack, negative, harsh and rude. Period.
I know that every time I have experienced pain from my Misophonia attacks the responses were rude.
My thoughts were negative and blameful for long hours and days after trigger situation has ended.
It is only after I took full responsibility on how I react, respond, think and go about it everything has changed for me. I still have people in my life who do not even notice the difference in me because they know me for so long as someone who is rude to one who eats with moths open. I still have people in my life who take Misophonia explanation very personally, they do not hear the facts at all. I still have people in my life who do not change their ways in my presence, even though they know about Misophonia and how it affects me. But is it very small amount of people. Very small amount of people.
I am pleased to say that majority of people I am in contact respond in a gentle and caring way now. Now. After I’ve took 100% responsibility of my reactions and responses. After I’ve changed my ways. After I’ve changed my thoughts. After I have changed my mindset.