I was challenged this week to look at any situation or relationship I currently have in my life where I could have make a difference or change to the better, or to take a first step even though another person is at fault or should take first step in my opinion
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I love really tough challenges like this!!!! .... Actually NOT ... I hate them really hate them. Just like everybody else I feel uncomfortable. I feel resistance. I don’t want to do them! I’m scared.
As soon as this challenge has been announced my mind start “working on protecting myself”.
Have you noticed how powerful your mind at “protecting you” every single time you think of doing something uncomfortable even though you know it is good for you? It’s insane! Within seconds the mind will talk you out of doing something you knew would be a good thing to do just few seconds ago!
My mind is no different. It does the same thing!
I could have list all the situations in which I have made the first step in the past. I could have list all the relationships in which I was making the difference ... or so many things I have done to make other feel better.... or solve problems that were not even mine ... or paid off bills, wants and wishes that were not mine.
Yes, I could have done that and call it a day!
But the reality is it would not fulfill the purpose of the challenge I was doing it this week. And the reason I have committed to the challenges is to grow. To get myself out of my comfort zone. To get better. Better than I was yesterday. To improve my own life. To improve my relationships. To leave the mediocre and average mindset behind. To create the best life I’m capable of creating! This is why i do those challenges. Even though I hate them. I’m afraid of them. I’m not a fan of them at all.
We often get trapped in our past accomplishments and allow our ego to keep us stuck in our current situation, because we have done so much in the past and truly feel that another person should make the move.
And it does not mean you have to keep doing same thing you have always been doing. And it does not mean you should not have boundaries.
Sometimes it is maybe a simple fact of letting someone know how you feel. Sometimes it is seeking for help outside of relationship to learn how to accept it the way it is. Not to pretend. But really learn how to accept it.
I have a situation where I have stated how I feel and it did not make the difference I was hoping it would make. I have also pretended for a long time that it is OK and I am OK with it. This did not work either as I just end up piling up my feelings inside. I have also made steps into accepting the situation and people the way it is, but to be honest - I have not accepted it yet. I still wish the situation to be different. And this thinking is cause us pain. When we do not accept the situation and do not make the step to make it better, when we silently waiting for it to change, hoping and wishing - all we do is waiting our precious life and causing ourselves pain.
All it does is poisoning my life, my thinking, my mood, my everything. Because I know somewhere deep down I still want for situation to be different.
So, I have decided to be very real with myself and face it.
I have accepted that damn challenge and will take a move whatever it takes I will work on myself until I learn how to accept it.